LOOK ALL AROUND

I Suddenly realized this evening that I have been so engrossed in worrying about the future. Worrying that our bills are too plentiful and our income is too minuscule. Working endlessly to reduce what I can. Worrying that I may not find a job and what that may mean for our family.

I find myself at times snapping at the little things that my princess has done that I may not like. I realized today that I am missing out on a lot of tiny memories that I will need to cling to when my angel is all grown up. I have been looking only in one direction, face forward. When I should be looking all around.

Sitting at home this morning my mind drifted. Drifted to the days of my childhood when life just seemed so simple. Wondering if my parents had the same fears as I do about the future. Wondering...and Wondering. Only left to wonder because it was never apparent to me. You see, if my parents were overwhelmed with the unknowns of the future, I was oblivious. And that is my hope for my daughter, to be oblivious of my fears. And to do that, I need to savor every morsel of her childhood and live in the moment with her.

So since this is Halainah's lifebook for her to read when she gets older, I want to document as much of her childhood as I possibly can. And I want to remind myself to cast my worries aside, look all around, and enjoy the present with our precious gift from God. I need to rest my worries in the Lord's hands, for I know that he will provide. He always has.

So this is my list of cherished memories that I need to savor:

Every 5 minutes Halainah walks up to me and says "boo boo" pointing to someplace on her body so that I would kiss it and make her feel better. By days end, every part of her body has been kissed a million times.

Constantly rummaging through the pantry looking for a snack, pulling something out and running to me yelling, "nack, nack," "open, pease."

Running up to me with her lips puckered asking for a delicate kiss and than saying, "cheek" because she wants to kiss my cheek and vice versa.

Getting right up in my face looking to rub noses because daddy taught her this form of affection.

Taking her out of her crib in the morning and getting the biggest, warmest, most scrumptious hug.

Getting all the way down the stairs and her crying out for her most cherished "3 amigos". Her stuffed animals that she so sweetly named Bear, Marty, and Elmo. And having to climb the stairs again to retrieve them so that my angel is happy.

Pointing to Papa in pictures and getting so excited yelling, "papa, papa". He has been so tragically ripped from our lives yet her little memory holds onto the good times like we all should.

Dumping ALL of her toys out every day only for me to pick them up every night before I get to relax.

Constantly hearing her say the word, "happy" with the most glorious smile on her beautiful little face. She is the happiest little girl I know.

When a stranger approaches, she quickly runs to me, grabs my leg with the strongest grip and yells, "Mama." It's almost as if she is making it known that I am her possession.

Yelling "Opa" as soon as we drive down his street because she is such a smart cookie and knows where he lives!

Grabbing my hand ever so tightly while walking into a store.

Always jumping, never walking. Always laughing, never crying. Always right next to me, never far away.

Jumping into my favorite corner of the couch as soon as I get up because it must be so nice and cozy for her.

Yelling "home" when we arrive after a long day out.

Grabbing her little vacuum and cleaning caddy when I start to clean.

Ripping her socks off any chance she gets because she likes to be barefoot. And finding tiny little socks all over the house.

Finding real chicken nuggets and apple slices in her pretend microwave and toaster, sometimes days later.

Always sharing whatever I am eating because she doesn't want to miss out on anything yummy.

Having to watch Elmo all day long because she is addicted to it.

Seeing the excitement on her face when it is time to play with play doh, flashcards or a puzzle.

Finding the babies from her dollhouse in the daddy or mommy's arms.

Grabbing her diaper and lotion at night and bringing it to us saying, "night night," because she wants to go to bed.

Calling for "Daddy" throughout the day because he is at work and she misses him.

Yelling "Daddy" on top of her lungs and jumping up and down in pure utter excitement that he came home from work.

Hearing, "Mama" a bazillion times a day.

This is my list for this week. I want to add a post every week of my most cherished memories so that I don't forget one little morsel of Halainah's childhood. Sometimes you need to stop and look all around, not just face forward.

Ahhh...the joys of childhood. No worries at all...enjoying the love of cousins. And being naughty jumping on the bed. I was a bad Mama for not yelling at them...sorry Aunt Deb!